I never thought I'd get to write the sentence, "I am four years free from self-injury." It felt so remote in the beginning that I resigned myself to not keeping track of the days after so many attempts and so many resets of the counter. I'm very good, though, at remembering anniversaries. Dates stick with … Continue reading 1,460 Days
I will never be satisfied with the content of a classroom unit about or containing references to eating disorders, because the first bullet point under "Causes" always, without fail, is some iteration of, "media and societal influences." With that thought at the forefront, my eating disorder will always be reduced to just a diet that … Continue reading An airing of grievances
I am going to drop kick the next person who tells me that they are ~*a little OCD*~ straight into the next century. I don't say that I'm a little asthmatic when I get winded climbing a lot of stairs, because that would be totally ridiculous and insulting to people who have to deal with … Continue reading Peeling skin: on being “a little OCD”
Y'all, it is World Suicide Prevention Day. While it's a probably trite thing to say, from the bottom of my heart I want you to know that life is so worth living, and happiness (or, at the very least, passive contentedness) is out there, even if you can't see it yet. Some disclaimers: yes, life is … Continue reading Make sure you stop to see the weird bugs
It has been increasingly difficult lately to give myself the space to be a human being. I am not inclined to be patient, I have no desire to be strong for the sake of strength, and I would mostly like to succumb to a depression nap, almost all of the time. Sometimes, it's hard to … Continue reading I’m positive?
Depression bites, for the obvious reasons. If I have to be sad, I wish it at least had a cause, some sort of rhyme or reason I could point to as the source of the heaviness. I have a good life: a beautiful-wonderful-charming partner who loves me and does the dishes; a big family that … Continue reading Making Piles
Connie died a year ago today. Healing was difficult before, even though I was able to rely on her for support and guidance, and in her absence I've felt a unique sense of hollowness. Instead of feeling like I'm crumbling, it just aches, and deeply. She was the rock of my adolescence. She gave me … Continue reading Bittersweet Anniversaries