Hang on, Sloopy

The first day at THE Big Fancy University™ has officially come and gone, and I have already acquired an education. Among the many things I have learned today, there are a few takeaways that really stand out:

  1. People on 315 don’t like it when you maintain a safe following distance with the car in front of you, and they won’t pay the same courtesy to you. Ignore them and drink your coffee. No one is getting anywhere any faster. Even the fast lane is stopped.
  2. Also, there will certainly always be traffic backed up when you really want to go home, and only in the lane that you need to be in. Sorry.
  3. Don’t leave home without a snack. What were you thinking.
  4. Life sucks when instructors don’t use a traditional syllabus. Frown very hard at them if you must.
  5. I do not speak Spanish. Nope. Thought I was okay, but nope. Nada. Zilch.
  6. Libraries will never not feel like a safe haven when it’s storming outside.
  7. Professors are way better at procrastinating than I am.
  8. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I feel vaguely nauseated about it.

I was smart enough, at least, to wear my favorite bra. Nothing like having a good support system in place on stressful days.

I’ve been trying to apply the “walk quickly and don’t smile, and no one will know how tiny, lost, and afraid you feel” method, and so far that’s been working out well for me. Jon told me not to talk to strangers, but they keep asking if they can sit next to me, and my intensely Midwestern need to proffer cordiality to all makes it hard to tell them that hell is other people (and I am afraid they know that I don’t belong here and am working to avoid getting trashcanned).

Things feel like they’re happening very fast, but still not quickly enough. Semesters always feel like a roller coaster, where they build… and build… and then you’re off, twisting and turning, your hair is pinched by the seatbelt and you kind of want to scream, but if you do you’ll probably puke on your neighbor, and then, when it’s over, you say, “Well, that wasn’t so bad,” and do it again, like, seven more times.

They asked in my survey class what I was most excited about this semester, and I can’t really name anything yet; I’m still on the rebound from the trauma of rush hour traffic. I told them that I was really looking forward to not getting lost on the way to the grocery anymore. I’m not sure it was the answer they were looking for, but it’s the answer they got.


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